Mood suck
Today is family gathering day at paramount hotel having our Hi-tea. Everyone is so happy chit chating and eat!!! After eating as usual they like to start their interview LOLs. First they interview me. How's is my work? When you going to quit? How the court case? When are going to study? Haiz same old thing but is show a concern. Times pass realli very fast, until today i notice that life is different from now. Mama gone le make me change everything, change into a person that need someone to rely on. I hard earn money spend like tap is becoz i wanted to search the meant of life. Life is what? Do i still alive? Everyday, every hrs, min, sec i trying to do something that attract attention, purposely do wrong thing, make people angry, find someone to chit chat. But i still don't know am i still living in this world. I start to eat, drink and smoke. Wonder is this my life? Not sure.... It's just like my father, without personal discinpline all i know is, i still searching for my life. No people understand how i feel, i make happy but i crying inside my heart. I just need someone who concern about me but i did not feel it. My relative shown concern but the feeling is not right. Is somehow a propose of doing it!!!
My elder brother, from young we had nothing to chat about only know how to quarrel. So times past 1 years everyone is scolding and nagging, my bro will say he only know trouble but got who understand how much burden i carry? I shouldn't say burden i should say does anyone understand what i thinking? Did anyone try to understand me? Did anyone know how i feel?
I cannot find the purpose of living, i will make it the end. If i vanish can make everyone happy, I should do it.
End at 7.43pm
Nov 5 2010
Ronald =(
Friday, November 5, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Sian
Nov 4 Sian
Haiz out of sudden i can feel what norman is thinking, Totally lost duno wat to do =( cannot entertain myself up =( I keep thinking wat is the best for me after all. I keep telling myself this and that but i keep repeating it!!! Why so sian nehx? Haiz this world is out of life, wat is the purpose of living? i just cannot find it wat is the best thing for to do????
Maybe i still unmature bahx, do things still the same nothing change at all.AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man is dumb he only believe that he's are smart but eventually they walking into traps.
Man is weak he like to act strong infront of girls. just to proof he is the man.
Man is useless he got guts to do everything but they just cannot let go of what he lose.
Man is cheater because he cannot cheat anyone but cheating himself.
Man is vulnerable creature he easily to get hurt but he act like nothing had happen
Man is stubborn he know that the answer is out, he still want to search for the reason.
After all man is dumb,weak,useless,cheater,vulnerable and stubborn but everything he do just thing make sure he is still living in this world no matter how hard the life is he's still need to carry on.
Haiz out of sudden i can feel what norman is thinking, Totally lost duno wat to do =( cannot entertain myself up =( I keep thinking wat is the best for me after all. I keep telling myself this and that but i keep repeating it!!! Why so sian nehx? Haiz this world is out of life, wat is the purpose of living? i just cannot find it wat is the best thing for to do????
Maybe i still unmature bahx, do things still the same nothing change at all.AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man is dumb he only believe that he's are smart but eventually they walking into traps.
Man is weak he like to act strong infront of girls. just to proof he is the man.
Man is useless he got guts to do everything but they just cannot let go of what he lose.
Man is cheater because he cannot cheat anyone but cheating himself.
Man is vulnerable creature he easily to get hurt but he act like nothing had happen
Man is stubborn he know that the answer is out, he still want to search for the reason.
After all man is dumb,weak,useless,cheater,vulnerable and stubborn but everything he do just thing make sure he is still living in this world no matter how hard the life is he's still need to carry on.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Chalet
Oct 22
Today is bryan birthday, Me and Norman attend his birthday chalet afterwork. Haiz go there see alot of (YP) childish i can say. Keep stare stare Don't know wat so good to see. The better way is to ignore it. Somehow at chalet see birthday boy drop dead, so ke lian hahax drink until drunk anyhow slap people LOL. After that chit chat all the way and so funny 1 of my friend know Zack hahax. Keep asking me is it got problem with him hahax obviously no!!!
Let the past be the past nothing good to mention too. Anyway happy birthday bryan hope everything go fine for you =)
Got one customer thursday say wan to go ratchada to see model show, just becoz i say that day no sg dancer i don wan to go den they cancel the trip JOKE. Realli don't understand without me they don't want go their minds goes wrong i believe!! 2weeks ago i heard that Eva had break off with her boyfriend, inside my heart i feel so sour!!! I feel sad for her, out of sudden but i always wish she could find someone who realli love her and never mistreat her. Just feel like she just worth the best or maybe a fairy tales relationship.
When i started to find a girlfriend, i dream of my mother out of sudden. She tell me this again ( Don't go and mistreat other parents daughter) Hmmm so i shld think before i do whether i got the requirement anot. After all i think stop is the best way after all. When the times is right i will just go for it bahx!!!
Today is bryan birthday, Me and Norman attend his birthday chalet afterwork. Haiz go there see alot of (YP) childish i can say. Keep stare stare Don't know wat so good to see. The better way is to ignore it. Somehow at chalet see birthday boy drop dead, so ke lian hahax drink until drunk anyhow slap people LOL. After that chit chat all the way and so funny 1 of my friend know Zack hahax. Keep asking me is it got problem with him hahax obviously no!!!
Let the past be the past nothing good to mention too. Anyway happy birthday bryan hope everything go fine for you =)
Got one customer thursday say wan to go ratchada to see model show, just becoz i say that day no sg dancer i don wan to go den they cancel the trip JOKE. Realli don't understand without me they don't want go their minds goes wrong i believe!! 2weeks ago i heard that Eva had break off with her boyfriend, inside my heart i feel so sour!!! I feel sad for her, out of sudden but i always wish she could find someone who realli love her and never mistreat her. Just feel like she just worth the best or maybe a fairy tales relationship.
When i started to find a girlfriend, i dream of my mother out of sudden. She tell me this again ( Don't go and mistreat other parents daughter) Hmmm so i shld think before i do whether i got the requirement anot. After all i think stop is the best way after all. When the times is right i will just go for it bahx!!!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Gain
Oct 10
It already working at jazzy for at least 5month and i gain nothing at all (sad) sometimes in our life, those elders always teach no pain no gain. Now i understand why, You don't learn from your mistake until something realli serious happen. This few months i learn alot of new thing.
1. Is almost the same as don't judge the book by it's cover. someone say this to me.
( The book cover is bad, doesn't means the content is suck.
2. The other side of the grass always look green.
3. The most beautiful thing is always the most dangerous thing. e.g ( Rose look beautiful but it has thorns)
4. The best thing in the world is the mirror cause it always shines on us.
It already working at jazzy for at least 5month and i gain nothing at all (sad) sometimes in our life, those elders always teach no pain no gain. Now i understand why, You don't learn from your mistake until something realli serious happen. This few months i learn alot of new thing.
1. Is almost the same as don't judge the book by it's cover. someone say this to me.
( The book cover is bad, doesn't means the content is suck.
2. The other side of the grass always look green.
3. The most beautiful thing is always the most dangerous thing. e.g ( Rose look beautiful but it has thorns)
4. The best thing in the world is the mirror cause it always shines on us.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Lifestyle
Oct 7
I hate my lifestyle now, i don't like EMO, This lifestyle is totally not suitable and not mine. Who the hell pass this virus to me. I want the free and easy life. Without burden, I prefer the same old life... I don mind doing everything again to get my life back. I can stay alone, i can do my ownthing, i like the days i always feel happy without worry about tml. I don mind be poor at least i stay happy everyday. I work so hard and not happy what for. I still young, still got long way for me to go. Why keep looking for someone to love, I like the life that i onli love myself, I don mind being selfish coz i happy. Happy is the key to success, If i not happy means i not success =) Bye my new life. I throw everything away and i going back to the happy go lucky ronald again =)
I hate my lifestyle now, i don't like EMO, This lifestyle is totally not suitable and not mine. Who the hell pass this virus to me. I want the free and easy life. Without burden, I prefer the same old life... I don mind doing everything again to get my life back. I can stay alone, i can do my ownthing, i like the days i always feel happy without worry about tml. I don mind be poor at least i stay happy everyday. I work so hard and not happy what for. I still young, still got long way for me to go. Why keep looking for someone to love, I like the life that i onli love myself, I don mind being selfish coz i happy. Happy is the key to success, If i not happy means i not success =) Bye my new life. I throw everything away and i going back to the happy go lucky ronald again =)
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
My Heart
Oct 5th
Today i drink too much again =) i believe blog is the best place for me to throw all my sadness in it. I don't think this blog will still called happiness coz i not happy at all. I step out of the past and trying very hard to overcome it. But seen like i always not the right person. Elene i realli appricate wat you say, you keep telling me to try but once a mirror break how you paste it still have the crack. It more easily to break and i will never try someone that beautiful again!!! I hate my life, without parents, without kinship. I totally lost in this world. I lost my parents, I lost my money, I lost my love, I lost my diginty, I lost my confident, I lost my friendship, I lost my freedom, I lost myself and I lost my soul. I try so hard to move out of the 5years ago life but now i still walk back to the past. Once again i name myself to Soulless again. Without heart without mind, without Emotional and without SOUL. I always believe treating people the best will get good faith but seen like everything is wrong. From today onwards i will be the same old bastard, No more Good Ronald coz it pointless, Maybe 1 day i find back the purpose of living!!!
Today i drink too much again =) i believe blog is the best place for me to throw all my sadness in it. I don't think this blog will still called happiness coz i not happy at all. I step out of the past and trying very hard to overcome it. But seen like i always not the right person. Elene i realli appricate wat you say, you keep telling me to try but once a mirror break how you paste it still have the crack. It more easily to break and i will never try someone that beautiful again!!! I hate my life, without parents, without kinship. I totally lost in this world. I lost my parents, I lost my money, I lost my love, I lost my diginty, I lost my confident, I lost my friendship, I lost my freedom, I lost myself and I lost my soul. I try so hard to move out of the 5years ago life but now i still walk back to the past. Once again i name myself to Soulless again. Without heart without mind, without Emotional and without SOUL. I always believe treating people the best will get good faith but seen like everything is wrong. From today onwards i will be the same old bastard, No more Good Ronald coz it pointless, Maybe 1 day i find back the purpose of living!!!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Sheena Birthday
4 Oct Sheena Birthday
Today after 12am is sheena birthday, I bring along Vincent to celebrate with her. Hope to see her happy and forget about the past but Unfortune i always stand on the last line. How happy she look always rmb of the past... I understand it, After Feb i always thinking of how eva is whether she is happy or sad? Until she found a good Boyfriend =) But i myself need to overcome the suitation i have to move forward of my life.... Until the day i finally catch my eyes on this girl Sheena and Jovin.... But it seen like they cannot remove the hurt they had from the past. although i understand how hurt they feel but at least try to accept. After all how much effort i put in just to make you all happy. Truthly from Ronald =)
Eva your current relationship will last forever as i wish. I will carry on with my life until the day she notice me. She willling to forget the past i will truthly treat her the best i could.
Today after 12am is sheena birthday, I bring along Vincent to celebrate with her. Hope to see her happy and forget about the past but Unfortune i always stand on the last line. How happy she look always rmb of the past... I understand it, After Feb i always thinking of how eva is whether she is happy or sad? Until she found a good Boyfriend =) But i myself need to overcome the suitation i have to move forward of my life.... Until the day i finally catch my eyes on this girl Sheena and Jovin.... But it seen like they cannot remove the hurt they had from the past. although i understand how hurt they feel but at least try to accept. After all how much effort i put in just to make you all happy. Truthly from Ronald =)
Eva your current relationship will last forever as i wish. I will carry on with my life until the day she notice me. She willling to forget the past i will truthly treat her the best i could.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
